How Can I Describe My Lust For Autumn's Brilliance?

About two weeks ago I moved in to my tiny new 8x10 room. It feels good to know it's mine, that I'm responsible for something again- for myself. My roommate could not be better. We'll call him Fred. He's from Alaska, he makes electronic music, and he's really laid back and considerate and fun. Today is the first day of the month, and everyone who had their things stored here came and got them. Now it's just me, Fred, and our sparsely decorated place. It is absolutely fantastic. We are talking about having a housewarming/fall party when we get it all set up. We'll probably make some yummy little fall food.

Fall is amazing here. It's quickly becoming my favorite season since I'm finally getting a chance to really experience it. In Texas fall is that one week in October where the air changes and everyone gets excited about it... then it's passed. There are star-shaped leaves on the ground here in red, orange and yellow, and I keep meaning to write a song about them.

I cannot believe how busy Per and I both are. I think we hardly have time to think about the separation. The wierdest thing is to think that we're completely missing out on this entire part of each other's lives. For instance, today I was thinking about all these fall clothes I'm wearing that completely define me and this moment in my life, about the views I see around here when I walk down these more familiar streets each day, of the inside jokes I'm forming with new friends here.. All things we used to share on a daily basis. All things that make you know a person inside-out. All things that you can never exactly describe, or explain, or experience vicariously. It has a certain sadness to it, but at the same time it's very special because we each have something that's all our own.

I met an incredible girl named Melissa and definitely think I have found my best friend up here so far. She felt very familiar from the moment I met her, and we laugh constantly when we're together. In these moments I feel so happy about my decision to move again. I hate it that it has to mean more separation for Per and I, but at least I can confidently say that I am living my life and not just feeling like it is passing me by while I stand helplessly watching. I can't wait to see him- I wish it were going to be sooner than Christmas, but a school schedule never bends or changes. I can't wait for all of these people to meet him and for him to see this beautiful city.

So much is on my mind these days, but at last I am starting to feel at home again. I am starting to feel ageless again, like I have my youth still because I deserve to, because I dare not to be one of these stuffy people that people my age seem to be. Life is an adventure again, and somewhere along this path I meet up with my love to fall in love all over again.